Time: 21:56.
Listening to: ビタ
Topic: Mental health, art, grad school.
I took an extra day off so I could rest a bit and recover over the weekend. I've been feeling a bit depressed lately. The monotony of a routine usually starts to get to me this time of the semester. Taking a day off helped a lot! I caught up with homework, got lots of rest, and actually had time to indulge in my creative goals. A good indicator that I need a break is if I can't keep up with creative stuff. For 8 days I didn't make art, write, or work on Neocities. That's the longest period since this year started.
This new inspiration art wise really came at the right time. There's a zine being hosted focused on LGBT horror art. I don't think my skills and portfolio are strong right now but due to a large application window I think it might be worth applying. There's two outcomes really. I get everything up to my satisfaction and apply. Or I don't and get some good practice and new pieces in there. I don't do well with art deadlines generally speaking. But in this case, I think it's worth a shot.
I actually did work on a piece to practice rendering blood. I'm not particularly happy with how the character turned out but the blood itself was super easy to render! Part of the issue I've been running into with art is trying to pick between simpler or more detailed art. A lot of pieces that I have in my art inspiration folder are actually quite simple and flat in terms of rendering. They use composition, harsh shadows, and contrasting colors instead. This is a good example of what I'm talking about. [outgoing Tumblr link, suggestive]. Another one is this Sweet Pool fanart I came across before playing the game [outgoing Twitter link, gore, 18+]. Meanwhile I have other inspirations which use pretty dramatic lighting and have more detailed rendering [outgoing Pixiv link].
I don't think I have to pick between either approach. Something I've worked on over the years is a level of adaptability in style. The problem is I think I'm not properly distinguishing between these two approaches when I'm drawing. It produces a result that, to me, feels half-hearted and lacks the strength of either approach. A worst of both worlds where the wrong things get emphasized. I can see it in particular with the practice rendering I did. Rather than going simple or detailed with the blood and character, I think I oversimplified the character + lighting and overdetailed the blood.
I think doing that practice actually really helped since when I look at my art I can see this is an issue that's been plaguing me for a long, long time. It's also one that is very fixable with some style studies and efforts to make sure I have more direction before I start a piece in the first place. I hope critiques of my work don't sound too negative! I actually really like doing constructive critiques like this. I'm good at analyzing stuff when it's finished but not so good at doing analysis in the planning stage. So critiques help a lot in giving me direction and things to watch out for next time!
Other than art, I've been working on grad school stuff. I'm optimistic that I'll be able to get an article published in an academic journal. My professor has been of great support to me and gave me some praise recently that really surprised me. I'm confident in my academic abilities but that confidence tends to waver when I try something new. I know I'm good at class writing but published writing is brand new. In the same token, I know my capability in undergrad but grad school will be a new level of work and difficulty. It helped a lot to get a vote of confidence by someone who I know is properly experienced and can offer guidance I need right now. The stakes are pretty high so it calms my nerves.